With Luck
by Psycho Weasel
Summary: After getting dragged to an 80's party, Matt starts to notice how different Tai is acting. From making him do bizarre stunts to finding a strange list in Tai's car, Matt knows something is up with Tai, and hopefully, he won't find out too late. Taito.
1. March

_**NOTE: **After a nice long semester of college, I have finally reached my summer vacation. :3 So, to (I guess) celebrate, I decided to post a new story up. It's another request that I got a while ago and I had been working on it for a while. I've kind of reached a sort of writer's block at the moment for this story though...we shall see how this goes.**  
**_

_**WARNING: **There will be angst/sadness later on...but there's nothing too bad at the moment...but of course it is a Taito/boyXboy, and there is some swearing. _

_**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own Tai or Matt. They belong to the owners of Digimon._

* * *

_**1. MARCH**_

"No! I refuse!" Matt snapped at bushy haired, muscular athlete standing before him. Tai grinned sheepishly and shrugged.

"Why not Matt?" he chuckled. "I think it would look rather flattering on you."

"Tai! The 80's style is the most _hideous _style ever known to man! I refuse to dress up in such a stupid way!"

"Not even if it was to join me at a party?"

"NO! _Especially_ not then!" Matt glared at his best friend who looked rather sad and pouty—suddenly, Matt's eyes went wide. "No…No! Don't you dare!"

"What? Oh, you mean do this?" Tai asked, before putting on his famous puppy-dog pout. Matt quickly looked away and tried to avoid the killer look. But he couldn't help it. He slightly glanced over and caught sight of it. Tai's brown eyes shined with misery and his bottom lip slightly stuck out. Matt tried to look away again, but he was soon caught in the brunette's trap. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the pathetic looking boy in front of him and it was made even worse when Tai let out a soft whimper.

"UGH! Alright!" Matt moaned in defeat. Tai let out a yip of happiness and hugged his friend tightly. The blonde blushed at the affection he received from the brunette and gently patted the athlete on the back. "What time is the party at?"

"It starts at eight," Tai grinned happily. "I'll come to pick you up around seven thirty, ok?"

"Yeah sure," Matt grumbled, starting to head off towards the direction he usually took to get home from school.

"Matt?"

"No Tai. I will _not _wear a fishnet shirt!"

"That's not what I was going to say."

"Oh…what then?" The brunette took the blonde's hand and gently kissed it. Matt blushed even harder and stared wide-eyed at the brunette.

"Thank you so much," he simply smiled at him.

"Whatever," Matt brushed off and started his journey home. Once he was sure he was far away enough from Tai, he muttered miserably to himself, "Damn you Tai…why did you have to be so damn cute?"

oXo

Tai watched his friend leave and then sighed. He pulled out a list from his back pocket and scanned through it. He then took out a red pen and crossed off number one and sixteen.

"Two down," he muttered. "Ninety-eight more to go…" Tai looked down at his watch and frowned. "Six months left…"

**oXoXoXoXo**

"Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" Matt growled as he tried to make the red bandana work with his outfit. Unfortunately, his hair refused to corporate with it. Finally, he threw the bandana on the bathroom counter and stormed away from the mirror. Matt's father looked up from his reading of the newspaper to look at his son. A huge grin swept across his face.

"Wow Matt!" he exclaimed. "You look totally gnarly!"

"Ew…Dad," Matt scrunched his face up and slightly stuck his tongue out. "Don't use 80's slang on me…"

"Now how do you know I'm using 80's slang?" his father raised a suspicious eyebrow.

"Besides the fact you sound like a surfer on drugs?" Matt fixed his shirt slightly. "You use it all the time."

"Ah," his father chuckled at Matt's "logic." "Sorry Son." Matt shrugged and thought to himself for a moment.

"…But were you saying 'gnarly good' or 'gnarly bad?'"

"Gnarly good."

"…No way."

"_Yes_ way!"

"Dad!" There was a knock at their door and Matt quickly raced over to open it. Tai stood there, wearing blue jeans, sneakers, a tan button up shirt, and a bright orange puffer vest. He was staring at the ground, but once the door open, he looked up and smiled at Matt.

"Wow Matt," Tai smiled. Matt was wearing blue jeans that were torn at the knee, an off-white button up shirt, his black converse and a thin black tie. Matt smiled at the other boy's awed-look. "You look _super_ dope!" Matt frowned and ignored his father's laugh.

"Doesn't he though?" Matt's father chuckled and patted his son on the back. "Looks just like I did back in the day." Matt's father grinned widely when he caught sight of the large orange vest the brunette wore. "Wow Tai! You yourself look legit! Is that your father's puffer?"

"Yeah," Tai grinned and showed off the puffy vest. "He was glad to have an excuse to pull it out of the closet and show it off."

"Come on Tai," Matt said and started walking off. "Let's get this over with."

"Alright kids, you have a totally radical time alright!"

"For sure Mr. Ishida!" Tai called back and waved.

"Oh, gag me with a spoon…" Matt groaned.

**oXoXoXoXo**

Tai and Matt were now walking home from the party, and to Matt's surprise, it actually wasn't that bad. There were a _lot _of hideous outfits being worn by people, but the blonde musician was too occupied having fun with his best friend. They'd sing along to the famous songs like "Livin' on a Prayer" and "Don't Stop Believing", rock out to the stranger sounding songs that were unfamiliar to them, and during any slow song's, they'd sneak off to the food table and much on some goodies. Over all, it _was_ a…"radical" night, and Tai made it all the better.

They passed by a toy shop as Matt was busy explaining to Tai an upcoming gig. He explained how difficult it was getting to practice all together since they were all scrambling to be able to graduate high school; also how they are trying to fit all of their equipment in the new stage that they were to perform on, instead of their usual spot. It wasn't until he reached the end of the block, when he finally noticed that he was simply talking to himself. He looked around and saw the brunette standing in front of the store window. Matt jogged back and joined his friend.

Matt didn't understand what Tai was looking at. All he saw in the closed shop were a few stuffed animals, and a bunch of balloons. The balloons were all white ones, except for one that was red. It seemed to have been mixed in there on accident and was now struggling to survive amongst the white balloons. The blonde looked at his friend and frowned. Tai looked so…upset.

"What's up Tai?" Matt gently nudged him. Tai didn't answer for a moment.

"I want some red balloons…" Matt heard him mutter…or at least, that's what he thought he said.

"What?" Matt tried to clarify. Tai looked at Matt and smiled. Any trace of sadness quickly vanished.

"I said, 'I want some of your famous hot chocolate!'" Tai grinned and continued walking. "Let's go back to your place and maybe you can actually teach me how you make it so dang good!" Matt blinked in confusion. That didn't sound like anything he thought he heard the brunette say… With one last look at the balloons, Matt shrugged and then followed his 80's loving friend.

* * *

_Hmm... What could Tai possibly be referring to? Guess you'll just have to wait and see. ;)_

_Yep, I will be referring to the 80's throughout this fic. Why? Because Psycho Weasel ka-freaking loves the 80's! Also, the request that this fic originated from was when the "client" asked me to write something pertaining to the song "99 Luftballons" (a.k.a. "99 Red Balloons") by Nena. The song was very popular in the 80's, so I decided to include it with this fic (also gave me a good excuse to geek over 80's stuff). I can't remember if the request was originally to be a songfic...but after listening to the song, I came up with my own idea and decided to run with it.  
_

_Thank you for reading this first chapter! I'd be happy to see what you thought of it. Did you like it? Did you not like it? Do you love the 80's like Tai? Or do you think it was a horrible style period like Matt? Constructive criticism is helpful and appreciated, flames however are not and can/will be used to warm my freezing room._

_Oh, and P.S. "Gnarly", "yes way", "dope", "legit", "radical", "for sure", and "gag me with a spoon" are all slang words from the 80's. Who knew, ne? :3  
_


	2. April

**_NOTE: _**_Mm...haven't got much to say... This chapter is a little longer than the first._

_**WARNING: **Some swearing, boyXboy story, and angst in the future.**  
**_

_**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own Tai or Matt. They belong to their respectful Digimon owners.**  
**_

* * *

_**2. APRIL**_

"Tell me again why we're doing this?" Matt whimpered as he looked at the icy looking lake.

"Because," Tai grinned as he took off his shirt. "It's something I've always wanted to do."

"Go skinny dipping in a freezing cold lake?" Matt cried out.

"Oh, man up!" Tai laughed and stripped his jeans off. "It's probably not even that cold." Matt leaned against Tai's beat up 1997 Nissan truck and watched as the blue denim slipped off of his friend's darker toned legs and to the ground, leaving him only in his boxers now. He picked up his shirt and jeans and tossed them back to the car. The blonde couldn't believe how nicely toned Tai was. He knew that soccer players had to stay fairly fit and build muscles to help them throughout the game…but it looked as though Tai worked out a little more than needed. Tai looked over at Matt and smiled before bending over to take off his shoes and socks. Having been caught staring at the brunette, Matt blushed and turned away from him.

"T-there is still _snow _on the ground Tai!" the blonde protested. Tai stopped from removing his shoes and socks and slightly narrowed his eyes at the blonde. Matt hesitantly looked back at Tai's face, trying his best to avoid staring at his body.

"Fine, you can stay on shore and be a wuss," he huffed and folded his arms across his chest. "But just keep in mind that when I come out, I'll be expecting a nice big hug from you." Tai placed a finger on Matt's new designer shirt and drew his finger down from his chest to his belly.

"You wouldn't," Matt glared and pushed his finger away.

"We have no towels," Tai smirked. The blonde bit his bottom lip and then looked at the lake in front of them. "It's your choice: jump in with me, or be my towel." Matt folded his arms across his chest. "I'll put on my puppy-dog pout."

"…turn around," Matt grumbled. The brunette grinned and finished removing his shoes and socks with his back turned to his friend. Matt didn't think he would have cared if people saw him naked…but now, he was completely freaking out about it! Maybe it was because he knew he was a lot scrawnier than boys his age. Maybe it was because he had never really shown himself to anyone else before this moment. Or maybe it was the fact that he was with a _Tai _that scared him more than anything.

"The second ice age came and left already Matt," Tai groaned. "Hurry up already! We haven't got all day!" Matt blushed and took off his designer shirt and pulled off his jeans. He placed them neatly on top of the red hood of the pickup and removed his shoes and socks, but still didn't take off his boxer-briefs. Matt looked down at his pale figure. Yep; he was definitely scrawny…"Can I turn around now?"

"No!" Matt yelped and wrapped his arms across his chest.

"Come on Matt!" Tai whined. "You're a boy, I'm a boy, so I'm pretty sure we have the same body parts in the same places." Matt stared at his friend's toned dark back. What would he say if he saw him so…_scrawny?_ "That is, unless your penis is on your stomach instead of between your legs."

"It is not!" Matt scoffed.

"Well, unless you let me turn around, I'm going to believe that your penis is on your stomach."

"You're such a brat," the blonde grumbled.

"I wonder how your sex life will be like since it's on your stomach…you'll have to let me know—"

"Fine! You can turn around!" Tai turned and stared at his friend. Matt could feel his brown eyes scan his body up and down a few times, which made him hold himself tighter. Finally, Tai smiled up at Matt.

"Alright," he said. "It's definitely not on your stomach."

"Thank you Captain Obvious…"

"You're welcome Lieutenant Sarcasm." Matt rolled his eyes. Suddenly, his heart stopped when he saw Tai's thumbs slip into his own boxers.

"What are you doing?" Matt yelped.

"I'm going to take off my boxers," Tai gave his friend a "no-duh" look.

"Why?"

"Because part of skinny dipping is to actually be completely naked."

"B-but…"

"Come on Matt…" And with that, Tai slipped off his boxers and stood completely bare in front of the blonde. Matt quickly looked away and tried to avoid staring at his friend. "Don't be shy."

"I'm…I'm not taking my underwear off," Matt murmured.

"Well, do you want to wear soaking wet underwear?" Tai questioned as he tossed the rest of his clothing inside the truck.

"…No."

"Did you bring extra underwear?"

"…No."

"Well, I guess you're just going to have to take it off then." Matt groaned inwardly and then started to gather his clothing up once again to put them on. A hand stopped the shy blonde from putting on his shirt again. Matt found that he was frozen to the spot as the hand slowly slid from his own hand down to his waist. "Unless, you want me to do it for you." Tai slipped his thumbs into Matt's waistband. The blonde quickly whipped around and shoved Tai's hands away.

"You're such a brat!" Matt hissed at the laughing brunette. He shut his eyes before dropping his underwear to the ground. He felt so humiliated.

"See?" Tai chuckled. "Now that wasn't so hard was it?" Matt stepped out of his underwear and let out a soft "hmph." He opened his eyes once more when he felt Tai gently lead him to a large boulder near the edge of the lake. The two boys climbed up the rock and then looked down at the blue water.

"Well Mr. Skinny-Dipper?" Matt huffed. Tai continued staring down nervously at the water and then looked back at Matt.

"How about we go together?" he grinned sheepishly.

"Fine," Matt shrugged. He slowly moved closer to the edge of the rock.

"On the count of three," Tai suggested. Matt nodded and started to panic a little more at the idea of jumping into ice water. "Ok. One…" Running away was starting to look really good right now. "Two…" But what would Tai think of him? Besides, he was already here… "Three!"

About mid-air of his leap, Matt noticed that Tai didn't make any motion to leap forward. As quick as lighting, his hand shot out, grabbed the darker boy's hand and pulled him down to the lake water alongside with him. The blonde gritted his teeth when his body came crashing into the freezing cold water. He frantically kicked his legs to reach the surface and gratefully gulped in air when he did. Soon, Tai's head also broke the surface.

"WOAH!" Tai shouted and pushed his newly wet hair out of his face. "SHIT! IT'S FREEZING!"

"YOU WERE ABOUT TO MAKE ME JUMP BY MYSELF!" Matt yowled and splashed some water at Tai's head. The brunette quickly splashed Matt back and then the two started up a freezing splash war. Tai quickly dove under the water and disappeared. Matt looked around frantically to see where the other had gone. Finally, Tai poked his head from out of the water a few feet away from Matt. He waved happily to the other boy while Matt simply glared.

The blonde wrapped his arms around his cold, naked body and tried to keep himself afloat. Tai happily swam around his friend and would dive in and out of the water. Seeing that Matt was making no motion of moving at all, Tai swam right next to him.

"You know you won't get warm at all if you just stand there," he said to the blonde. Matt shivered and tried to splash Tai. He quickly ducked under water and swam right up in Matt's face. "Come on Matt. Part of the fun of skinny dipping is actually swimming around."

"It's-s c-c-cold!" Matt felt his jaw vibrate. Tai frowned and hugged the blonde.

"Is this better?" Tai asked. Matt immediately felt his face heat up. Although Tai made sure the lower half of his body wasn't touching the blonde's, it still didn't change the fact that they were naked.

"…Um…" Matt murmured nervously.

"HEY! What are you boys doing?" Tai and Matt quickly shot away from each other and looked over at the person who yelled at them. A park ranger glared down at the two boys.

"Hello officer!" Tai waved. "We're just taking a nice swim in the lake." Matt's eyes widened when he saw the ranger standing just a few inches away from his underwear.

"It's cold out here," the ranger responded.

"Exactly! We didn't want people to crowd the lake, so we decided to come here while it was mostly empty." The ranger eyed each boy suspiciously. Matt sank down slightly so that only his eyes were above the surface of the water. If the ranger didn't see his underwear lying there, he'd probably ask them to step out of the lake…He could just imagine the teen magazine's new article: "Teenage Wolf Singer Caught in a Blue Moon!"

"This area closes in about half an hour," the park ranger called out to the boys. "Make sure you're out by then."

"Yes sir!" Tai saluted to the officer. The ranger trotted back to his patrol car, not seeing the undergarment on the floor, and drove away from the boys. Matt sank all the way into the water and thought of how grateful he was that they were only given a warning. "Matt, if you stay like that you'll drown." The blonde splashed some water at the brunette and glared at him.

"I'm-m-m g-getting o-o-out-t," Matt chattered and slowly started making his way to the lake shore.

"You barely did anything though," Tai pouted as he swam after the blonde.

"I-it's-s-s c-cold-d!" Matt glared.

"Matt," Tai wined as his friend got out of the lake. Though the sun was starting to shine, Matt couldn't help but still feel cold. He shook his hair out, grabbed his underwear from the ground and the rest of his clothing before hurrying inside the truck. Safely inside, he slipped on his underwear and started looking for the keys of the car to turn on the heater.

"S-stupid T-T-Tai!" he hissed as he looked through Tai's jeans. "It w-was hi-i-is idea to f-freeze t-to—" Just as Matt pulled out the keys, a folded piece of paper fell out. The frozen boy stared curiously at the object that had fallen. He glanced up to see what Tai was doing, turn on the truck's heater, and then picked it up to read it.

It was a list. On the margin was the numbers one through one-hundred written with bold red pen. Alongside the first twenty or so were some sentences written down…which actually sounded a lot more like goals than sentences come to think of it. In fact, they _had_ to be goals, otherwise, why would there be some check marks next to some of them?

"One," Matt read to himself. "Go back and experience the 80's." The 80's party they went to just last month came to mind. "Two, win the soccer championship." Just last week the high school's soccer team made it up all the way to the championships and won. Matt started scanning through the rest of the list. There were many blank slots still, but what was filled out amused Matt.

20. Ride in a gondola.

23. Walk on some railroad tracks.

36. See an opera.

52. Pay a meal completely in coins.

Once Matt reached the last twenty numbers, the list was completely blank. On the very bottom, under the 100th goal however, Tai had scribbled something that stood out to Matt.

**"MUST COMPLETE NO LATER THAN AUGUST!"**

"…One hundred goals in twenty six weeks…" Matt muttered to himself. The blonde jumped when he heard the truck door open. He quickly tried to hide the list against his leg as Tai started to dress himself.

"You missed out Matt," the brunette grinned to the blonde. "I mean, how often do you get a chance to go skinny dipping in a lake?" When Tai pulled up his pants, the grin on his face fell quickly. He patted his pockets and started looking around. He checked the truck's floor, the ground, and he walked around the truck. After a moment, Tai returned to the open door and looked at Matt. "Where is it?"

"You're keys are right here," Matt muttered and pointed to the keys in the ignition.

"No…I mean…" Tai shoved his hands through his pockets then started looking inside the truck. "Matt, do you mind getting out for a moment?"

"What are you looking for?" Matt asked, holding the list closer to his bare leg.

"…just move," Tai said.

"Tai?"

"_Move_ Matt!" The blonde quickly got out of the warm truck as his brunette friend started searching the passenger seat. Guilt started to build inside of Matt and he looked down at the list.

"Is this it?" he asked, holding out the list. Once he saw the list, Tai snatched the paper away and placed it back inside his pants pocket.

"Thanks," the brunette soccer play muttered. Cautiously, Matt entered the vehicle again. The two friends sat in the truck, unsure of what to say to one another.

"What's the list for?" Matt asked. Tai tapped his thumb against the steering wheel for a moment.

"Things I want to finish," he answered slowly. "Before we start college."

"College?" Matt blinked at him.

"Well, yeah," Tai smiled at him. "I mean, we're graduating next month and once we get into college, we'll barely have any time to do anything." Matt stared at Tai for a moment. Something seemed a little off just now… Tai gave him a curious look, then his face became more serious. "Um…I was wondering…now that you know…if you want to do it with me?" The blonde gave his friend a funny look. "Wait! No! Not the nasty-nasty! I mean…do you want to help me work on this list? Before August comes?"

Something was _definitely _off…Tai sounded so nervous just now. Usually, if one of them said something sexually related, Tai would brush it off as nothing (actually, it was usually Tai who turned things into a sexualized topic, like claiming Matt's penis was on his stomach for example). However, he freaked out when the thought of "doing it" was brought up. And why was he so set on doing all of these things before college started? Wouldn't it have made it a lot easier if it was done throughout his life time?

Still…with the pathetic puppy-like look on the brunette's face, how could Matt refuse?

"Alright," Matt nodded. "I'll help you out with your list."

"R-Really?" Tai asked.

"Of course," Matt smiled. "You're my best friend." The word "best friend" came out of Matt's mouth rather awkwardly to him because he knew he felt something more than that.

"Oh, ok! Cool!" Tai grinned happily. The two boys sat in the '97 Nissan, looking at each other. Suddenly, Tai started to lean forward. Matt panicked slightly as the soccer player started getting closer to him. He shut his eyes tightly and awaited what he thought would be a soft kiss on the lips. A second or two passed…and nothing happened.

"Matt?" Matt opened his eyes and saw Tai holding up the blonde's jeans, a sly smirk on his face. "I think you should put on your pants now. Otherwise, if that forest ranger comes back, he will get really suspicious about us."

* * *

_Hee hee hee...naked Tai and Matt in a lake. :3 If you haven't figured out that Matt likes Tai...then I must be doing a horrible job at hinting. ^_^; Probably should fix that or something. :P_

_Well, there you go. There's the next chapter. I'd say be expecting the next chapter in about a week or something (maybe by then I'd actually finished the new chapter ^_^;). Feel free to leave a review if you so please. Have a wonderful day!  
_


	3. May

_**NOTE: **Hey hey hey! Another update. :D Big thanks to those of you who have put this story in your alert listings and favorite listings. I really appreciate it. ^_^ Well, this chapter took a little longer for me to write because it took a lot of thought and research...I hope I made it believable enough. Enjoy some complimentary weenies and mallows and read on!  
_

_**WARNINGS: **BoyXBoy, Swearing, Angst, AU, need I repeat myself? X3  
_

_**DISCLAIMER: **I don't own Matt or Tai. They belong to Toei._

* * *

_**3. MAY**_

Fresh graduates from high school, bright sunlight filling the sky, and cool breezes that blow every so often to keep you cool. What better way to start summer vacation…than to run a 5K marathon?

Matt shot another subtle glare at his hyped up, athletic, best friend. This was not at _all _on Matt's summer vacation list. It wasn't that he wasn't athletic or lazy or anything like that…he just hated running.

"You're lucky this marathon is for a good cause," Matt told his excited friend. "Otherwise, I'd be waving to you from the sidelines with a glass of lemonade."

"Hey, I asked you if you wanted to help me out with my list," Tai nudged his side. "And you agreed."

"I should have known the risks I would be taking when I agreed," the blonde shook his head. Since the time they went skinny dipping at the lake, they had been able to complete ten more goals from the list. Now, they were working on checking off the forty-third goal.

"Welcome to the Cancer Society's annual 5K marathon," the announcer's voice boomed out from the speakers. "We would like to thank all of our participants who have signed up for this occasion and also liked to give a special thanks to our sponsors." The crowd and the runners gave a polite cheer for the sponsors that were named before the announcer continued on. "As you know, every year, the Cancer Society dedicates the marathon to victims of different types of cancer. This year, they have decided to dedicate it to those who are suffering from leukemia. Could we please have a moment of silence for those who have and are currently diagnosed with leukemia?"

As the crowd fell silent, Matt looked at Tai. The darker boy's eyes were closed and he had a sorrowful look on his face. It was though he was really concentrating on those who were suffering from the cancer… The blonde gently placed his right hand on his friend's shoulder. Tai smiled at Matt and then stared down at the ground.

"Thank you," the announcer finally said. "Runners, take your position." The participants all gathered behind the white line that separated them from the long run ahead of them. Matt stretched out his leg muscles one last time before looking ahead to the long, hot, three mile run ahead of him.

"I can always take it down a notch," Tai suggested to his friend. "You know, so that we can run together?" The blonde musician looked over at his friend with a slightly challenging look. "I was the one who offered that we do this together. It would be fair if I left you in the dust." Matt stared at his friend a little longer.

"Sure, we can jog together," the blonde shrugged. "That is, if you really don't care about making it in last place."

"It's a marathon blondie," Tai chuckled. "No one is running to see who is the fastest."

"Said the soccer player who got a mile done in five and a half minutes," Matt grumbled to himself.

"When the horn blows, that is your cue to start," the announcer called out. "On your marks! Get set!" The blonde jumped when he heard the loud horn blare out from right behind him. While trying to get rid of the ringing in his ears, Matt followed an eager Tai out into the asphalt road.

The blonde tried not to focus on the countless of people who were racing off ahead of him. He tried not to focus on the sun's sudden heat wave as the runners ran down the long trail. Instead, Matt made sure to simply pace himself and to keep up with Tai.

Tai was happily humming familiar 80's tunes as the two boys ran their first mile. Just as they were reaching the half-way mark of the marathon, Matt was ready to strangle the spunky brunette; 1. For making him run, and 2. For not shutting up. Before the blonde could say anything however, he suddenly noticed that his friend's spunk was starting to slip away. He was still humming, but it would fade in and out. Finally, Tai stopped humming all at once.

"No more humming?" Matt questioned.

"…forgot…the tune…" Tai smiled slightly. The blonde gave him a questioning look but the brunette turned his focus back on the trail.

After a few long agonizing minutes, they were only a short distance away from the finish line. Matt sighed happily and turned to exclaim his excitement to his friend. One look at him however, and it was clear that something was wrong. Tai was struggling to keep up at their normal pace, he was pale, and breathing hard.

"Tai?" Matt asked, slowing down so much that he almost stopped running. Tai looked back and gave a faint smiled.

"The finish line is up a head," the brunette panted slightly. "Don't stop now."

"Tai? Are you ok?" the blonde asked, picking up his pace again, but making sure Tai could keep up.

"Totally," the soccer player smiled. The sound of the audience's cheers grew with each stride the two boys took. "Let's sprint to the finish line now." Matt looked to the short distance ahead of him, then turned back to reject the idea. However, Tai had already taken off in full power towards the final destination. Matt groaned and forced his body to race after him.

The blonde's lungs protested loudly and his muscles screamed for him to stop working them so hard. But he paid no attention to them. His main focus was to beat the cocky soccer forward. The crowd watching the marathon cheered louder when they saw the two boys racing against one another to the finish line. Matt pushed his body harder and harder until he was running right next to Tai. The end of the marathon was so close, he could almost taste it. Pushing a little harder to finish, Matt's foot finally crossed the white line and signified that his 5K journey was over.

Matt slowed himself down to a trot, to a walk and then finally stopped. Giving a quick glance at the large electric clock that showed each runner their time, he saw that they had run the marathon in forty minutes. He couldn't believe what he had just done. He actually ran a whole marathon! Never in his life would he have imagined that he'd be able to do something so physically demanding as this. The feeling of triumph and pride was pretty equal to the similar feeling he got when he was given his high school diploma. Matt would _definitely _have to thank Tai for making him do this.

"Tai," Matt happily barked as he turned back to his athletic friend. Tai stood past the finish line, very still. His breathing was so hard that Matt could see his chest heaving up and down horribly. The brunette's eyes focused in on Matt's face after darting around the area for a while. Tai smiled slightly and tried to take a step towards his friend. Before he could even lift his foot up, the boy fell to his knees and then landed face down on the hard, hot asphalt. "TAI!" Matt raced back over to the fallen boy and tried to lift his head.

"Don't touch him kid!" a man shouted. A team of medics raced over to the fallen teenager and shoved the blonde away. Matt fell on his bottom and stared as the team started working around Tai. After a couple of minutes, the team carefully lifted Tai up and started carrying him away.

"H-hey!" Matt shouted after them. He got to his feet and raced behind them. One man stopped Matt from following the rest of the medical group. "Where are you taking him?"

"He's not responding to us at all," the older man explained to the blonde. "We think it's worse than some case of dehydration or anything like that. He's sick."

"…Sick?" Matt's eyes widened.

"We have an ambulance on stand-by, so he'll be in the hospital soon," the man continued to explain.

"…Hospital?" Matt muttered in disbelief. He turned to watch as paramedics lifted the stretcher on to the ambulance. Lying on the stretcher was a lifeless body.

"He'll be ok kid," the man tried to comfort the blonde. Matt raced over to the ambulance as they started closing the doors.

"Take me with you guys!" Matt begged.

"Are you immediate family?" one of the paramedics asked quickly.

"N-no," Matt answered.

"…then you can't come with us," the paramedic frowned. "It's against our regulations."

"But—" Before the blonde could protest, the second paramedic closed the back door and the ambulance started driving away. Matt watched as the red and white blaring vehicle drove away to the nearest hospital.

How could this have happened? Tai was sick? He looked perfectly healthy at the beginning of the race! Sure, he looked like he was getting extremely tired right around the end, but Matt figured that it happened to everyone. What was going on?

Despite the protest of his tired body, Matt ran after the ambulance.

**oXoXoXoXo**

Matt felt out of place in the hospital. Everything was so neat and clean, and he was sweaty and dirty. People in here were sick or recovering, and Matt was healthy as could be. The atmosphere inside was peaceful, but inside his mind he was battling countless of emotions.

His mind still couldn't wrap around the fact that it was Tai who was in here. Tai was a soccer player and was one of the most athletic guys he knew. What happened to him that could have made him pass out like that? Did he not drink enough water? No, they had a water bottle with them and at the two mile mark, he watched him drink his little cup they offered. Maybe he it was too hot? But then again, he's run around soccer field for sixty minutes under scorching heat before.

"Tai, what happened to you?" Matt groaned to himself as he buried his face in his hands. A couple of minutes later, a nurse walked into the waiting room where the blonde sat. He walked over to the worried friend and offered a comforting smile.

"You are the boy who provided the number to the patient's family, right?" he asked.

"Yeah," Matt nodded. "How is he? Is he ok?"

"He's just woken up," the nurse informed him.

"Can I see him then?" Matt asked quickly.

"Go ahead," the male nurse nodded. "He's in room 242." Matt sprung up to his feet and thanked the nurse before racing over to the room. Doctors and other workers continually asked him to slow down, but his legs continued at a fast pace to the second floor of the hospital. Finally reaching the room, he burst in and looked right at Tai.

The room was small and the bed laid directly center with Tai's face turned away from the door. The brunette had wires in his arms that hooked into a monitor. Other than that, Tai looked fine. It wasn't until Tai turned to look at the intruder of his room, that Matt saw an oxygen mask placed over his face. The blonde stood frozen to the spot as Tai removed the mask and smiled at him.

"Hey Matt," Tai greeted. His voice sounded tired and venerable, the complete opposite from what Matt was used to hearing. Matt slowly walked to his friend's bedside and stared at all the tubes and wires that were running all over the place. "I didn't expect you to be here. I thought you wouldn't want to have seen my face again after making you run all that time." Scrapes surrounded a Band-Aid that was placed on his cheek. Those were most likely caused from when he passed out face down on the floor. "Matt?"

"Huh?" the blonde teenager blinked. "Oh, sorry. I guess I just got a little…distracted."

"Understandable," Tai nodded. Matt stared at his friend for a moment, unsure of how exactly to ask his question. "So, I'm pretty sure I'll be out of the hospital in a couple of days if not tomorrow. That will still give us enough time to go downtown and—"

The two friends didn't have a chance to say anything else, for at that moment, Tai's family raced into the room. Matt quickly jumped out of the way as Tai's mother went and hugged her son. Kari stood on the opposite side of her brother's bed and the brunette's father stood close to his wife. After a confusing storm of questions from his family, Tai's father turned his attention to the other boy standing far from the bed. At the sight of the teenage blonde, the older man became noticeably angry.

"You," he growled and started moving towards the blonde. Matt backed away from him as best he could but soon his back came in contact with the wall. Tai's father took that opportunity to grab the boy's t-shirt and pull him up a few inches in the air, holding him eye-level with himself. "Why did you take him to that race?"

"W-What?" Matt gasped.

"You knew that he couldn't run because of his condition, so why did you take him?" The older man barked.

"I don't know what—"

"_Wrong_ answer Matt!" Matt had never seen Tai's father in such a stage of anger before. He had always seemed so calm and level headed, but now it seemed that he was only looking for answers that he wanted to hear.

"Dad, stop!" Kari raced over to her father and held on to one of his arms. "Tai says that he doesn't know!"

"Of course he does!" he argued with his daughter. "How can he not know?"

"Because he didn't tell him yet!" Kari answered hastily. Matt watched as the anger on the older man's face fade into confusion. He turned to look at his son who was now sitting up on the bed, with the help of his mother.

"Please Dad," Tai's tired voice begged. "Let him go." After a few nerve-racking seconds, Tai's father finally lowered the blonde back to the ground. Though it was only a few inches, Matt had to use the wall for support so he wouldn't fall completely to the ground. Matt's blue eyes looked at each of the Kamiya family then looked right at Tai. "Mind if I had a minute with my family?" Matt stared at his friend's sad smile for a moment, then slowly made his way out of the room. Once he was safely outside, he slid down to the ground, feeling completely numb.

The blonde wasn't exactly sure how long he sat in the hallway of the hospital before the Kamiya family exited the hospital room. Tai's mother was wiping away a few tears from her eyes and Kari had her head hung slightly. Tai's father was the last to exit the room and he too was notably upset. He was about to follow his family out when he saw the blonde sitting on the floor. The older man started to extend his hand which caused Matt to flinch.

"I wasn't going to hit you or anything," he smiled sadly at the blonde. "I was just trying to help you up." Matt stared at the hand for a moment, then finally accepted the offer. "I'm sorry that I charged at you like that…I didn't know that you didn't know…" Before Matt could ask what exactly it was he didn't know, Tai's father turned away and started to follow his family. The numb teenager watched as the small family left before he reentered the room.

"Hello again," Tai smiled at the blonde. "Long time no see." Matt stared at the breathing mask that laid next to the brunette then shifted his gaze to the floor. "Sorry about my dad. He's just been getting a little more over protective recently…but it's most likely because I'm a fresh high school grad, you know?" The only sound heard in the room was the beeping of the heart monitor. "You ok?"

"Me?" Matt finally snapped. His blue eyes glared hard at his friend. "I'm not the one who passed out and is lying on a hospital bed!"

"Oh, yeah," Tai flinched at the blonde's outburst. "I guess you have a point there." Matt stared at the brunette a while longer, then sighed.

"Sorry," Matt grumbled. Tai smiled and then patted a spot next to him on his small bed. Matt eyed the spot hesitantly, then slowly moved forward and sat next to Tai. Once again, the only sound heard was the steady rhythm of the heart monitor. "Tai…what's going on?" Tai inhaled deeply and then exhaled before answering the other's question.

"Remember how I told you that Kari would get sick really easily when we were younger?" Tai started. The blonde nodded and waited for more explanation. "Well, we found out that it was because she had an slight imbalance of white blood cells. The doctors worried that later in life she would have a high risk of a more serious disease." The brunette chuckled to himself. "They never really thought about checking the oldest though…Since he's as healthy as a horse..." Matt felt his stomach start to twist into painful knots of dread.

"Which means?" Matt asked, not sure if he really wanted to know the truth or not. The brunette stayed silent for a moment then his dark caramel eyes looked into his friend's sapphire blue ones.

"I have leukemia Matt," he finally muttered. Matt could feel his heart and stomach drop down all the way to the ground. His mouth opened slightly to say something, but he couldn't muster anything out. Tai placed both of his hand behind his head and smiled up at the ceiling. "My family's always had bad blood apparently. My mom is anemic and my grandfather has had problems with too much iron in his blood. It was only a matter of time before some sort of health issue would come and bite us in the ass." The blonde clutched the bed sheet tightly, not believing what he had just heard. "You've been terribly quiet Matt. That's not like you when—"

"But you're healthy!" Matt finally blurted out. "You don't smoke! You don't live anywhere near a location that gives off heavy radiation! So how the hell do you have cancer?"

"If I knew for sure, I'd tell you," Tai frowned. "But I don't."

"Is that why you passed out after the race?" Matt questioned.

"Well…sort of," Tai grinned sheepishly. "See, I've been taking these oral chemo pills to help get rid of the cancer. But I guess I missed the instruction that says 'don't engage in heavy physical activity after taking pills.'"

"They have chemotherapy pills?"

"Neat huh? It beats risking the chances of going bald." Matt stared at Tai's wild hair, knowing that Tai would rather die than lose his mighty mane. Die… The blonde stared numbly at the ground.

"How long?" he muttered.

"Huh?" Tai blinked.

"How long…do you have left?" Matt muttered even softer. The heart monitor echoed loudly in the silent room.

"We found out early in March," Tai murmured. "But the cancer was already starting to get pretty bad."

"How long?" Matt repeated.

"…they gave me until August," the brunette answered. Matt shut his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "But things are going pretty good right now. I mean, unlike before, my body hasn't rejected these pills and I'm starting to sleep better at night."

"What do you mean _unlike before_?" Matt's face snapped up to look at Tai.

"…nothing," Tai tried to brush off. "It's no big deal. Anyways, by August I'm sure I'll be up and running like normal again. Who knows, maybe I'll actually be cured."

"But the cancer is in your blood," Matt frowned. "It's not in just one spot where they can easily go in and take it out. It's throughout your whole body."

"It starts in the bone marrow Matt, then spreads that way. But it details don't really matter. Don't worry about it, ok? Besides the little scare I gave you, I've been doing great!"

"So that's what the list is really for isn't it?" Matt asked. "In case you die this August?" Tai glared at Matt.

"Well if everyone keeps saying that I'm going to die, then yes. It was in case I died in August." The blonde hung his head slightly at his friend's irritated tone.

"Sorry," he muttered.

"It's ok," Tai offered a smile. "I guess I should be used to the first reaction that people get when they find out. The way I see it though, is that it's all in the power of the mind." Tai tapped his temple with his index finger. "I've told everyone to picture me healthy and cured instead of dreading the day that August comes. It gives me a sort of boost of confidence that I can fight this." Matt nodded understandingly then looked downward at the ground again.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" he asked. The brunette didn't say anything for a while, then he placed a hand on top of Matt's hand.

"I didn't want to burden you with my baggage," he said to the blonde.

"So you thought that I wouldn't worry after seeing you pass out like that?" Matt smiled.

"Well it's not like I was planning on doing that," Tai shrugged innocently. "I didn't wake up this morning and thought, 'Hmm. I'm going to pass out after the race today and scare the hell out of my best friend.'" The two friends chuckled at the idea.

"You got one thing right," Matt said. Tai tilted his head to one side, similar to how a puppy would react to a strange noise. "I'm your best friend. I'm going to stick with you for better or for worse."

"For richer or for poorer?" Tai suddenly perked up at his friend.

"For richer or for poorer," Matt rolled his eyes playfully.

"In sickness and in health?" Tai asked.

"In sickness and in health," Matt nodded. The brunette opened his mouth to say the last bit of the traditional vow, but stopped himself. The blonde knew what it was, but he couldn't come to say it either.

"It…feels like we just got married now," Tai laughed nervously.

"Uh, yeah, kind of," Matt blushed slightly. "How is this then? And until we finish off those last few items on your bucket list. Better?"

"Much," Tai smiled. "Thanks Matt. The fact that you'll stick with me means a lot." Matt gave his friend's hand a gentle squeeze and Tai returned the gesture. "Do you mind going over to that chair over there and getting me the list? I want to know what things are missing and can be done ASAP!" The blonde did what his friend asked and retrieved the list to his bedridden friend. As Tai examined and discussed the future plans soon to come, Matt listened to him, but only partly. The one phrase from the traditional wedding vows that neither boy dared to say echoed louder in Matt's mind than the beeping of the heart monitor…

…Until death do us part…

* * *

_Well, now you all know what's up with Tai and his gosh dang list. Heh heh...peoplearegonnakillme... -.-'  
_

_But you know what's cool? I went to a fair this weekend and I found a game booth that had posters as their prize for winning the game. Among the posters was one for...Digimon! Guess who nearly died of happiness and then won the poster. X3_

_...Ok, so that had absolutely nothing to do with the story...but maybe it made some people happy knowing that there is still SOME Digimon merchandise out there (it made me happy...)._

_I'm done rambling now... Let me know what you thought of this rather long chapter! Did you laugh? Did you cry? Did you enjoy your complimentary food items?  
_

_Thanks for reading! See you at the next update!  
_


	4. June

_**NOTE: **Sorry for the wait guys! I know it took me a long time to write this but I appreciate the patience. Took a while to update this...because it's super long. :P Hopefully, the length can make up for the delay.  
_

_Oh, and I went back to my little 80's inspiration track. I would advise listening to "I Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore" by REO Speedwagon (which I do not own in any way) before reading this chapter. It might make a little more sense. ;)  
_

_**WARNINGS: **Some boyXboy, some swearing, and oh. Tai has leukemia...so you should be aware that the chances of character death is in the air. O.O _

_**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own the characters of Digimon._

* * *

_**4. JUNE**_

A small, 2007 Suzuki, Reno came jerking to a stop at the edge of a forest. The bushy haired driver blinked in surprised then turned and grinned at his blonde passenger.

"Ok Matt, I think we're here," he stated. Matt peaked through his fingers to take a peek of their surroundings and then slowly lowered his hands. They were parked in a clearing that was made of dirt and just a few feet in front of them was a forest. The lush green leaves swayed to the direction the wind blew them and as they rubbed against the branches and other leaves, they made a soft rustling sound. Matt looked upward to the sky and saw that the chance of it raining still made a noble threat on Matt's surprise.

"This is the right place, right?" Tai interrupted Matt's thoughts.

"Oh, yeah, this is it," Matt nodded. He stared nervously at the brunette who was driving his mother's manual operated car. "Ok Tai. You remember how to turn this car off right?"

"Yes sir," Tai nodded. He thought carefully to himself for a moment. "First I push the clutch." His left foot pressed down on the far left petal. "Then I place the stick on first gear." He adjusted the stick shift so that it rested on the first slot. "And then I shut off the car!"

"Wait Tai!" Matt tried to warn his friend, but the brunette already turned the keys towards the off position. The silver Reno jerked forward before shutting off completely. Tai stared at the now dead car in a daze before looking at Matt. "I was going to say that you were supposed to put it on _neutral_ and _then_ shut off the car."

"…oh," Tai grinned sheepishly. "That makes sense now." The brunette pulled the emergency break and then proceeded to get out of the car. "I guess we can definitely cross this off of my list, huh Matt."

"Y-yeah," the blonde answered hesitantly as he also got out of the car. "I think it'd be safe to say that you now know how to drive a manual operated car."

"Remind me to thank your mom for letting us borrow her car again," Tai grinned. At the word "mom," Matt quickly started examining the car for any scratches or dents. "I'm kind of surprised that she let us borrow it actually."

"Yeah, me too," Matt mumbled, now checking underneath the car. That was a lie. Matt knew perfectly well why exactly his mother let them borrow the car. When Matt had first asked his mother, she said no. Once he explained Tai's situation and how long he had left to complete this list however, his mother handed him the keys and said to bring it back whenever he finished learning.

"I wasn't _that_ bad of a driver," Tai frowned at his friend.

"Who said you were?" Matt asked.

"Every time we stop, you run around the car like a scared chicken."

"I do not! I'm just making sure my mom's car isn't scratched or anything."

"Uh-huh."

"…But you're right Tai. You're not a bad driver when it comes to stick shift." Inexperienced, maybe…but not bad…

"Thanks Matt. I'm glad to hear it." Tai continued to watch as Matt did a second quick examination of the car. "So why are we here anyways?" Matt's eyes finally left the car and looked upon his brunette friend.

"Oh that's right," he grinned. Quickly locking the doors of the car, the blonde motioned for his friend to follow him through the woods. Matt made sure to keep a slow steady pace while they walked, just in case Tai had taken his chemo pills. For the most part, Tai was silent during their small trek through the woods, but every once in a while, he would glance over at Matt. And if Matt glanced back, he would smile and then look onward again, not catching the slight blush that would appear on the cherry of the blonde's cheek. After a few minutes of walking, the trees around them started to thin out, until finally they came to a different clearing. In the clearing was a large pile of left over railroad ties and two separate sets of railroad tracks. Tai stared out at the tracks then gave Matt a confused look.

"Railroad tracks?" he questioned.

"Yeah," Matt nodded and started walking over to the tracks. Tai still stood at the edge of the trees as Matt started walking on the train tracks. "You did put that you wanted to walk on train tracks on your list, right?" Tai let out an "OH!" of excitement and quickly joined his blonde friend. "Took you long enough."

"Well it's not like I memorized my list or anything," Tai shrugged.

"Obviously," Matt teased. "Now just remember that we parked near that pile of wood, ok?" Tai nodded. The two walked silently on the tracks, enjoying the scenery around them.

"Something feels off," the brunette muttered.

"Are you feeling ok?" Matt asked quickly. "You don't need to sit down or anything?"

"No, I'm fine," Tai shook his head. "I don't know…I guess I had this idea that when I was walking down these tracks…" He chuckled then shook his head again.

"What?" the blonde questioned. Tai said nothing, and so Matt rolled his eyes and continued looking ahead. "Hmph, whatever." After a moment, Matt felt Tai gently taking his hand. The blonde stopped walking and quickly looked at the other boy who had an extremely nervous look on his face.

"…This…ok?" Tai manage to mutter. Matt nodded slowly. They stared at each other carefully, to make sure the other wouldn't pull away, then continued walking down the path of steel and wood. "…This feels better now."

"That's good," Matt mumbled, trying to make sure Tai didn't see the blush on his face.

"I'm not making you feel awkward…am I Matt?" the brunette asked sincerely.

"No," Matt answered. "Besides, nothing can beat that awkward moment when we walked through the drive through."

"Oh yeah," Tai laughed. "That was fun!"

"For _you_ maybe," Matt playfully glared. "You didn't see the death stares we were getting. Especially once you pulled out your wallet and started paying for the meal all in coins!"

"Well you never liked McDonalds anyways," Tai shrugged, trying to pretend he was innocent. "So don't feel bad if they ban you for the rest of your life."

"Thanks for the help. Now that's one less place I can take people on dates."

"Wow, that'd be one romantic date Matt. Dinner at McDonalds and then to top it off, a terrifying ride on a gondola."

"The gondola ride was _your _idea Tai!"

"Well I didn't know we'd spend half the time trying to keep the boat balanced so that we didn't fall in!"

"What about the other half? When you decided to lean over on my side and caused the boat to turn over?" Tai opened his mouth to protest, but after remembering the event, he started laughing. Matt joined in the laughter for a moment before a low thundering growl resonated in the sky.

"You think it's going to rain?" Tai asked as he looked up at the sky.

"It looks like it," Matt too turned his head upward to the sky. "I just don't know when." Tai nodded understandingly. The blonde felt the other boy adjust his hand so that now their fingers were laced together. Matt glanced down at their hands while trying to hide the smile on his face.

"Hey Matt?" Tai spoke up. "I don't think I've ever asked you this…but have you ever…kissed anyone?" Matt frowned at the question.

"…Yeah…" he muttered.

"Oh," Tai sounded discouraged. "Like…how many?"

"…a few…" Matt kept his eyes up ahead. He was the heart-throb lead singer of a popular band…of course there would have been a kiss…or two…

"Oh," Tai muttered again. The tight grip he once had on Matt's hand notably loosened.

"But it's not like I'm the only boy who's kissed a girl before," Matt tried to shrug off, while also trying to hold on to Tai's hand. "I mean, I'm sure you being a great soccer player have kissed a couple girls yourself, right?" Tai didn't respond. "…Have you kissed anyone?"

"…no…" Tai said.

"…oh…" Matt frowned. The darker skinned boy gently pulled his hand away from the other boy and shoved both hands in his back pockets. Matt mentally kicked himself for being such a lip whore. While thinking back to all the crazy parties and secret places his kisses had taken place at, it took him a moment to realize that he was walking alone. Turning back, he saw Tai standing alone, staring at the ground. Matt frowned and slowly walked back to him.

"Hey, I'm sorry," the blonde said to the upset boy. "If it…helps…they didn't really mean anything to me. Hell, I don't even know who half of them were." Tai lowered his head even more and Matt covered his mouth. "Wait, no! I mean, I _think _I know who they were. It was just either too dark or too crazy for me to really pay attention. I could have been kissing T.K. for all I know." Matt felt his face burn up with what he had just said. "Wait! No! That's not what I mean! What I mean is—"

"Talk anymore and I think you'll end up swallowing your leg _and_ foot Matt," Tai finally grinned at the embarrassed blonde. Matt let out a deep exhale and put a hand to his forehead, slightly flustered. "…I need to tell you something though." The blonde looked up at the brunette. Tai stared into Matt's sapphire blue eyes for a moment, then he sighed and shook his head. "I don't know how to say it…" The tone in his voice was starting to worry Matt.

"Are your chemo pills starting to make you tired?" the blonde offered. "We can just head back to the car now. It's not far."

"No, I'm…fine…" Tai muttered.

"That didn't sound very convincing Tai," Matt said. Tai shrugged but didn't say anything. "Did…you forget to take your pills? Is that it?"

"Matt…there _are _no pills," the brunette stared right into the blonde's eyes. "I went to the doctor last week because of some horrible stomach aches I was having that caused me to throw up. It turns out that it was just my body rejecting the chemo pills once again." Matt's eyes widened in shock as Tai continued. "Those pills I was taking were the last kind the doctor could prescribe to me to treat this…I…I haven't had any sort of treatment since then…"

"W-what?" Matt gasped. Tai held up his hands defensively.

"But we're starting the actual chemotherapy tomorrow!" He explained. "Once I go through some procedures, my body will be able to fight the cancer again! It's going to be ok, really!"

"You went a full week without any sort of treatment?"

"I feel fine—"

"Tai! Who knows what sort of effect the cancer has had since you've stopped taking anything to help you fight it!"

"I said I was going to start chemotherapy tomorrow! I know we should have gone sooner but schedule wise, it wasn't working out. Once they start zapping me with radiation, or whatever it is they do, I'll be right as rain again."

"But…what about…" Matt's eyes drifted up towards Tai's thick brown hair. Tai tapped the edge of the steel rails with his shoe and shrugged.

"Well, the doctor said that each person reacts to chemo treatments with different symptoms," he mumbled. "Besides…you gotta do what you gotta do." Matt looked down at the ground as his heart ached with worry and dread. What was going to happen to Tai now? What if the chemotherapy treatments were _also _rejected by his body? Had they just lost the battle and would soon witness the cancer's takeover his friend's body? The blonde felt a gentle hand on his chin and it slowly lifted his face up. Tai smiled at him, trying to give some comfort to the horrible news. "I'll be ok Matt. I…promise." Matt looked into Tai's dark caramel eyes; he was trying to see if he was putting up a façade or not. Before he could really determine which it was, a loud crack of thunder echoed through the sky before a heavy down pour of rain was finally released. The two friends stared up at the sky, then at each other.

"We should head back to the car," Matt shouted over the sound of rain hitting the dirt ground.

"Why?" Tai asked innocently.

"You mean besides the fact that walking on railroad tracks is illegal?" Matt shouted.

"It is?" Tai blinked.

"Yes!"

"Oh…Well screw that!" Tai stretched out his arms. "It's like nature is giving us a personalized shower! It feels amazing!"

"You—we're going to get sick!" Matt argued. Damn, he was doing such a good job on not trying to make Tai seem so defenseless. Luckily for Matt, Tai either didn't notice, or ignored it. The brown haired boy let out an excited cheer as another crack of thunder echoed out, though not as loud as the first. Suddenly, Tai started dancing on the train tracks like a madman.

"I'm si-i-inging in the rain!" Tai belted out. "Just si-i-inging in the rain!" Matt rolled his eyes but couldn't help but smile at Tai's off-key singing and horrible rendition of the famous dance sequence. "What a glo-o-orious feeling—"

"Hey! Don't ruin the master piece Gene Kelly created!" Matt called out. Tai stopped dancing and pouted at the blonde.

"Way to kill the mood," he whined.

"Come on you weirdo," Matt gestured for them to start walking back to the car. "Let's go before a train comes and hits us." For a moment, Matt actually believed that the brunette would listen to him. After a few steps however, Matt soon realized that he was, once again, walking alone. He sighed and was about to shout back at Tai to start moving, but stopped when he heard something come from the other boy. Matt turned back, and through the heavy down pour, he saw Tai standing in the middle of the tracks. His once happy child-like attitude had changed into a more timid one.

"_…I can't fight this feeling any longer_," Tai repeated louder, his voice slightly shaking. "_…And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow._" The blonde blinked in confusion for a moment as the brunette then started walking towards him. "_What started off as friendship has grown stronger…_" Matt's confusion slowly turned into an excited panic when Tai stopped only a few inches away from his body. The blonde leaned away slightly, unsure of what his friend was doing. Tai half smiled and shrugged slightly. "_I only wish I had strength to let it show._"

"…you're singing an 80's song, aren't you?" Matt guessed. "By REO Speedwagon?"

"Took you _that_ long to figure out Mr. Rock-Star?" Tai grinned. A low growl of thunder hid Matt's soft groan. "Your turn."

"What?" Matt took a small step away from Tai.

"Your turn to sing," Tai repeated. Matt looked unsurely at Tai. "Come on, obviously you know the song. And don't you remember that having a random musical number is on my list?"

"Well, yeah, but—"

"It's perfect too! We're alone, the rain is pouring down…this is exactly like some cheesy romantic musical scene." Matt rubbed the back of his neck. "And besides, you're a better singer than I am…so what do you say Mr. Gene Kelly?" Matt stared right into Tai's puppy-dog pout before he sighed in defeat.

"…_I tell myself that I can't hold out forever,_" Matt sang.

"What? I can't hear you!" Tai placed a hand to his ear. "It's raining really hard, you're going to have to belt it!"

"_I tell myself that I can't hold out forever!_" Matt belted out louder.

"There we go!" Tai grinned happily.

"_I say there is no reason for my fear,_" Matt rolled his eyes, amused at his friend's happy attitude had returned. "_'Cause I feel so secure when we're together._" Matt noticed how close Tai's face was to his own. "_You give my life direction…_" Tai gently took both of Matt's hands and touched his forehead with his own.

"_You make everything so clear,_" both boys sang together. Tai's warm breath gently tickled Matt's lips, making the blonde ache to close the distance between them. Before he was given the chance, Tai took a firm hold of one of Matt's hands and started racing down the train tracks. A confused blonde tried his best to not trip over the wooden ties as he was dragged away by his friend. Tai finally stopped and let go of Matt's hand. Matt watched as Tai pretended to be searching for something in the distance.

"_And even as I wander,_" Tai belted out over the pouring rain. He then turned and pointed at Matt. "_I'm keeping you in sight!_" Matt rolled his eyes playfully, then wrapped his arms around Tai's waist. The brunette froze slightly, but then placed his own arms around Matt.

"_You're a candle in the window on a cold, dark, winter's night,_" the blonde sang out. Tai pulled Matt into a tight hug, which gave Matt the opportunity to bury his face into the crook of Tai's neck for at least a moment. Even though the downpour made the atmosphere cold and wet, Tai's body heat was still as warm as ever. As Matt's lips innocently touched the darker boy's wet skin, a shiver ran down his spine.

"_And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might!_" the two boys sang together, pulling away slightly from their hug. Tai let go of Matt's hold and mimicked the short instrumental part of the song, both with actions and with singing.

"Take it Matt!" Tai gestured to his blonde friend. "And don't forget to add some dance moves!"

"I'm not much of a dancer Tai," Matt frowned.

"Well just act out the motions then," Tai suggested. "Ready, set, go!" Tai pretended to bang on some drums as he sang out the instrumental part again. Matt sighed and held out his arms…slightly.

"_And I can't fight this feeling anymore,_" Matt sang.

"Bigger! Louder!" Tai barked.

"_AND I CAN'T FIGHT THIS FEELING ANYMORE!_" Matt threw out his hand and nearly screamed at the sky.

"There we go!" Tai cheered.

"_I've forgotten what I started fighting for!_" Matt sang out and made a big shrug gesture. "_It's time to bring this ship into the shore!_" Matt pretended to be pulling in a boat from the sea. Then, he made a throwing motion towards his right. "_And throw away the oars forever!_" Matt dropped his hands and slightly glared at Tai. "I feel stupid now."

"My turn!" Tai happily barked. He pumped his fist into the air as another boom of thunder echoed in the sky. "_'CAUSE I CAN'T FIGHT THIS FEELING ANYMORE!_" The brunette jumped into the nearest puddle he could find and threw his arms out openly. "_I've forgotten what I started fighting for!_" Matt laughed at Tai's extreme actions. The brunette launched himself at Matt and held on to his shoulders. "_And if I have to crawl upon the floor!_" Tai picked Matt up and spun him around, causing Matt to let out a little yelp of surprise. "_Come crashing through your door!_" Once Matt was safely on the ground, he playfully shoved Tai away. Tai simply pulled Matt closer to his body and held him there. The two boys stared at each other, feeling only their bodies pressed together and the blowing wind and cold rain. Tai smiled softly and brushed away some hair that had stuck onto Matt's face. The blonde blushed slightly at the gesture. Their faces were so close to one another.

"…_Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore…_" Tai gently sang to Matt. A strange courage fired up in Matt's body as he stared into Tai's caramel eyes. Before he could stop himself, Matt pressed his lips against Tai's.

The brunette froze slightly at the sudden touch, but to Matt's happiness, he soon relaxed and started kissing him back. Matt held Tai's face in his hands in order to deepen the kiss. In the meantime, Tai wrapped his arms around Matt's torso and pulled him in closer to him. Soon, Matt pulled out of the kiss to catch his breath. He hadn't realized that while they were kissing, he had been holding his breath. Sapphire blue stared into caramel brown, happily content for a moment. Matt had never kissed a boy before…Tai was his first. And he absolutely loved the way it felt and wanted more of it. He leaned forward to kiss Tai again, but Tai immediately jerked his head back.

"…n-no…" Tai muttered to himself. His once relaxed composure turned into a tense panic. "No!" Tai shoved Matt away from him and quickly walked away from him. "No, no, no!" Matt watched as panic soon turned into anger. Tai glared angrily at Matt. "Why the hell did you do that?"

"…what?" Matt asked. It was a stupid question, but his mind was still feeling slightly high from their kiss.

"You kissed me!" Tai spat. "Why the hell did you kiss me?"

"I…I don't know," Matt looked away slightly as he answered honestly. "I guess…I was just caught up in the moment." His once happy feelings were starting to crash and burn. He thought back to the whole sensation of his lips against Tai's mouth and how wonderful it felt when he responded to his touch. "Besides…you kissed me back."

"That's a stupid reason!" The brunette growled angrily.

"Well forgive me for trying to be romantic or whatever the hell that was!" Matt glared at the boy.

"Is that the same excuse you used when you kissed all those other hos?"

"That's a little uncalled for Tai! And I said they didn't mean anything!"

"So you're telling me that I just had my _very first _kiss with a guy who could honestly give a shit who he's making out with?"

"If you really think I'm that shallow, then yeah I guess so!" A crack of thunder echoed in the sky as the two teenagers glared at each other. Tai rubbed his face in frustration then stormed off. Matt watched as he disappeared out of sight then dropped his gaze to the ground.

Tai thought he was shallow? He must have since he didn't say anything. The blonde felt his bottom lip tremble slightly and quickly bit down on his lip. Convincing himself that it was because he was getting cold, he unwillingly followed the trail of the brunette, since the only mode of transportation was the silver Reno. Once he finally found the landmark of where the car was parked, and he hurried through the woods, he saw Tai already leaning against the car.

Anger quickly returned when the blonde saw the scowl on Tai's face. Matt quickly pulled out the keys and unlocked the car doors. The two boys hurried inside the shelter of the dry car. At that moment, Matt was grateful that the interior of his mother's car happened to be leather…

"Turn the heat on," Tai grumbled.

"You're cold?" Matt raised an eyebrow at him. Tai was turned away from the blonde and had his arms folded across his chest.

"Turn on the damn car," Tai growled. Despite his urge to kick the brunette out of the car, Matt turned the car on and turned the heat notch to the lowest level. "Thanks."

"Whatever," Matt rolled his eyes and started driving.

**oXoXoXoXo**

"So you kissed him…and he called you shallow?" T.K.'s tone sounded concern over the other end of the telephone.

"Yeah, can you believe it?" Matt grumbled and started playing with the twisted telephone cord. After the blonde had returned from dropping off the other boy home, he called his younger brother to vent out his frustration. "He's such an ungrateful little prick! I'm helping him do his stupid list and he snaps at me like…I don't even know what!"

"That sounds kind of unlike Tai," T.K. said. "There's gotta be a reason for his sudden anger…"

"Who cares," Matt huffed. "If he wants to act like a freaking baby over this, then he can go right ahead and do it on his own." There was silence over the other end for a long while.

"Matt," T.K. finally said. "I know you're really upset with what Tai said about you. But I also know that you really care about him." Matt frowned at his feelings for Tai. "Like…a lot."

"…yeah, I guess," Matt sighed softly. "I just can't believe he thinks I'm shallow…It really hurt."

"You probably just scared him or something," T.K. offered. "Maybe he was expecting his first kiss to be with another girl who hadn't kissed anyone yet either."

"…maybe…" the elder blonde muttered. As much as he hated the idea…his younger brother was probably right. Even if Tai was acting flirtatious with him, and he was being really touchy, it didn't mean that he felt anything for the blonde besides friendship. Over and over again, Matt had to remind himself that he was Tai's "best friend" and that was all.

"I can talk to Kari if you want," T.K. spoke up. "You know, see what Tai says and maybe try to—" The phone started making a beeping noise in Matt's ear, signifying that there was another caller.

"Hang on T.K.," Matt said. "There's another call trying to come in."

"Who is it?" the younger blonde asked.

"I don't know, we don't have caller ID remember?"

"Oh right! You and Dad still have the ghetto phones. You should try to convince Dad to buy new ones."

"Believe me, I've tried." The two brothers let out a small laugh at their father's stubborn attitude when it came to technology upgrades. "I'll just see who it is ok?"

"I think Mom is home now, so we'll probably go have dinner now. Call me later if you still want to talk."

"Alright T.K. Have a good dinner."

"Thanks Matt, bye." Matt heard his brother hang up the phone and then pushed the button to accept the incoming call.

"Hello?" Matt said.

"Oh…hey Matt…" the caller greeted. Matt's heart lurched forward once he recognized the voice.

"Hey…Tai…" Matt murmured nervously. "What's up?"

"Nothing much…just…calling…"

"Oh…" They stayed quiet for the longest time. Matt tapped nervously on the phone cord, waiting to see what the other boy had to say.

"…I don't think you're shallow Matt," Tai finally muttered.

"Thanks," Matt smiled slightly. "And…I don't think you're a heartless bastard either."

"…you never called me a heartless bastard," Tai's tone sounded confused.

"Oh…I was probably just thinking it then." The two boys let out a small laugh before their call became serious again. "Tai, I'm sorry for kissing you. It was stupid of me and you have every right to get angry. I shouldn't have just acted out, but I guess that's what I get for being such a lip whore and—"

"Matt, slow down!" Tai chuckled slightly. "Man, you sure have quite the motor mouth."

"I'm sorry Tai," Matt repeated. "I don't want our friendship to end because of me being stupid."

"…I'm sorry too Matt," Tai said. "I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. I was just kind of caught off guard and didn't know how to react."

"You reacted like any other straight guy would when his best friend suddenly kissed him," Matt let out a small laugh. Tai didn't laugh this time however.

"Did you mean what you said?" Tai asked.

"Huh?" Matt questioned.

"You said…you said that none of the kisses you've had before meant anything to you. Did you mean it?"

"Yes," Matt didn't miss a beat to answer.

"Did…our kiss mean anything?" Matt smiled, remembering the happy sensation he felt while kissing the brunette. He opened his mouth to say "yes" but nothing came out. Puzzled, he tried again. Nothing. "Oh…y-yeah, me neither then."

"Tai," Matt managed to finally say. He could say his name, but why couldn't he say how he enjoyed their kiss?

"No, don't sweat it Matt," Tai tried to laugh off the question. The blonde could hear the hurt in his tone however. "I was just wondering. Hell this makes things a lot easier now."

"What do you mean?" Matt asked.

"Well…i-if the kiss meant nothing to you…then we won't have this crazy problem of you falling in love with me and me falling in love with you, and then you having to end up having a broken heart because the treatments didn't work and I end up—"

"Don't!" Matt cut off. "Don't…say it…" Matt's mind drifted back to the moment when Tai left and he was standing alone in the rain. Was it going to be like that once Tai was gone for good?

"Anyways," Tai muttered. "I guess we just saved ourselves a whole bunch of drama right there, huh? If that kiss meant nothing to you, then we can just go back to being friends and finish off the list…that is…if you still want to."

"I'd like that," Matt smiled slightly.

"Ok, awesome," Tai sighed happily. "Well, I guess I should hop off now. My dad needs it for work and I was probably interrupting you anyways."

"Oh yes," Matt rolled his eyes. "Doing absolutely nothing is so important to me than talking with you." Tai chuckled. The blonde smiled too, and then frowned when he realized something. "Tai?"

"Yeah Matt?"

"You kept saying that it was ok if the kiss meant nothing to me…" Even though it sure as hell did.

"Right."

"But…did it mean anything to you?" Silence.

"…y-yeah…" Matt's heart broke a little at the hidden pain in Tai's voice. "…maybe a little…" His voice faded into a soft whimper and it only tore Matt's heart even worse.

"…Tai…" Matt muttered.

'_Why the hell can't I say it?'_

"I'm sorry…" Tai whimpered.

'_Is it because I'm scared that I'm going to lose you?'_

"I'm an idiot…"

'_Or because I know that saying that I love you won't be enough to keep you with me forever?'_

"…Tai…"

"…I'm sorry..." And with that last choking sob, Tai hung up the phone.

* * *

_I'm so evil...but I love the ending of this chapter. X3_

_I'll confess...the little musical thing was a shout out to and his awesome story "A Taito Musical." He's probably not going to read this story because of all the angst...but he still inspires me none the less. :)  
_

_And shoot, while I'm at it, I'm just going to make a quick shout out to some other awesome authors: southampton, AnotherStar, Kerukeru and AmiraStarr. Most of them are working on some pretty kick ass stories, so check their stuff if you get the chance!  
_

_Oh...and I guess I failed to mention that there are only going to be two more chapters in this story before it's over...pretty short I know. ^_^;  
_


	5. July

_**NOTE: **I'd just like to thank Richard Marx for giving me the right song of inspiration to finally finish off this chapter. Go listen to the song if you have never heard it! 'Tis amazingly good...and sad... :3  
_

_And also I'd like to give a big thanks to all my readers, reviewers and those who have faved/watched this story! It really means a lot to me to know that, despite the angst, I have kept your interest with this story! Thanks a lot and enjoy this chapter!  
_

_**WARNING: **Angst, boyXboy, slight swearing._

_**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own Digimon or the small use of lyrics from the song "Right Here Waiting." Digimon belongs to Toei Animation and that song belongs to Richard Marx. I own nothing. :(_

* * *

_**5. JULY**_

Matt knocked gently on the white apartment door belonging to the Kamiya family. It had been exactly a month since Matt kissed Tai, and exactly two weeks since he had last seen the boy at all. Even though their emotions were still in an awkward place, Tai still invited Matt to help him complete the items on his list. Some events took longer than others, but they were getting things done at a steady pace. However, at what seemed to be the prime of completing the list, Tai suddenly cut all contact with the blonde.

When Matt tried calling, it was always Kari or Tai's mother that would answer. And their response was always the same: "Tai is unavailable at the moment. We'll tell him to call you when he's free." Tai never did call however, and the blonde was starting to grow tired of playing a one-sided game of phone tag. That is what brought him here to the Kamiya's door step.

_'I don't see why I didn't think of coming over sooner,' _Matt thought to himself. _'It would have been a lot easier than building up the phone bill.' _He looked around the empty hallway and sighed. _'But what if this is just his way of saying, "Matt you lip whore, get out of my life! I only have a month to live and I don't want to waste it with someone who raped my lip virginity."_

'…_one month…' _Matt placed a hand to his forehead and gently rubbed his temples with his thumb and middle finger. Time was running out and Matt knew it. Soon, the image of a healthy, hyperactive brunette would soon be replaced with an empty shell. _'Stay focused Matt…don't think of him dying like that. He's still strong. He's still healthy. He's going to be ok…'_ Wondering if he had knocked _too _gently, Matt hit his knuckles on the hard door again. This time, he heard feet shuffling towards the door and the clicks of the locks. The white door swung open and revealed Tai's father.

"H-hello Mr. Kamiya," Matt greeted nervously and drifted his eyes down to the floor. Ever since their encounter at the hospital back in May, their relationship had been as followed: avoid eye contact as much as possible. "Um…I was just wondering if Tai was here so that I could—"

"He's…not here," he muttered. Matt's blue eyes blinked a couple of times at the older man. The tone in his voice was firm…but it wasn't as convincing as he had imagined. Matt tried to peer behind the man and managed to see someone sitting at the couch. But before he could determine who it was, his view was quickly blocked off by an older man's torso. "You have to leave now."

"Please, I need to speak with your son," Matt pleaded.

"I told you he's not here," the man muttered again.

"Look, if it's something I did, I'm sorry," the blonde tried a different tactic to get inside. "I didn't mean to hurt Tai in any way."

"…I know you didn't."

"Then why can't I see him? He's obviously home." The corner of Mr. Kamiya's mouth twitched and his head quickly turned to one side. Something was wrong…something was definitely wrong… "Please, Mr. Kamiya, let me see him. I've been completely cut off from him and I want to know what's going on. And I…I'm his best friend." One month…and he still couldn't say the three little words.

"…he's not going to be too happy," Mr. Kamiya finally sighed. He allowed the blonde to enter and led him into the living room. "Tai you—"Matt managed to catch a glimpse of some familiar brown hair sitting on the couch before it was quickly covered up with a blanket.

"WHAT THE HECK IS HE DOING HERE DAD?" Tai's voice barked out from underneath the blanket.

"He's your best friend son," Mr. Kamiya frowned.

"I don't want him here!" Tai shouted and buried in deeper into the blanket. "Get him out!" The words hurt Matt…still, he wasn't one to just simply give up.

"I'm not leaving Tai!" Matt growled at the brunette in the blanket.

"Go!"

"If you've got a problem with me being here then that's too bad." Matt marched over to the couch and sat next to the brunette's feet.

"Leave!" Tai gently prodded the couch intruder with his foot in which Matt placed a firm hand on his ankle. "Don't!" Tai quickly yanked his foot away from his friend's grasp.

"Son, Matt only wanted to come and visit," Mr. Kamiya tried to ease the friend's tension. "You hadn't spoken to him ever since you started—"

"Dad, stop!" the hidden brunette shushed his father. The blonde glanced up at the older man and could see that he was starting to lose patience.

"Tai, you can't keep hiding yourself from everyone," the older man stated.

"Yes I can," the brunette grumbled stubbornly.

"Is that so?"

"Yeah. All I need to do is just stay at home and –HEY!" Before Tai had a chance to finish what he was originally going to say, Mr. Kamiya grabbed the blanket and ripped it off of his son. Tai stared up at his father.

"Tai Kamiya," his father said firmly. "You know better than to act like this. Matt is not only out guest at this moment, but he is your best friend. He at least deserves to spend some time with you." Mr. Kamiya glanced over at the blonde and then started to fold up the blanket. "Besides, this blanket needs to be washed." The older man then retried to his bedroom and left the two boys on the couch. Once the closing of the door was heard, Tai pulled his legs up to his chest and buried his face in his knees. This gave Matt the chance to fully look at what Tai was trying to hide.

Tai no longer looked himself. He had lost an immense amount of weight; it could be seen from his arms and legs. His skin was pale and there were a few dark spots that appeared throughout his body. His hair was no longer wild and might, but instead it was dull and drooping slightly. Matt frowned slightly at the obvious misery Tai was feeling.

"Hey," Matt said coolly.

"…Hey," Tai responded, not bothering to look up.

"I was…starting to get worried," the blonde muttered.

"Why?" What did he mean by why?

"Oh I don't know. Maybe because my best friend suddenly decided to drop off the face of the earth!" They sat in silence afterwards.

"Say it," Tai nearly growled.

"What?" the blonde blinked.

"I look disgusting," the other boy muttered.

"No you don't," Matt shook his head. Tai lifted his face and stared hard at Matt. His face was thinner, his cheekbones more defined, showing just how worn out his body was becoming.

"Are you blind or just stupid?" Tai questioned bitterly. He stood up slowly and presented himself to the blonde. Matt glanced at Tai's body and took notice of how his once perfectly fit star shirt was now seemed a size too large for him. After the look over, Matt held his eye contact with the other boy and said nothing. "You don't see how I look right now?"

"Usually, I'm the one worry about how I look," Matt smiled softly.

"You usually nitpick about your hair," Tai muttered and looked down at a dark spot on his hand. "Not about how your body is going psycho on you." The brunette sighed and shook his head before walking off to his bedroom. "Thanks for coming over Matt, but I'm tired now so you should just probably go."

"It hasn't even been five minutes," the blonde protested and followed the brunette.

"I got back from chemo a while ago and I'm tired," Tai huffed at Matt. The blonde followed Tai into his bedroom and shut the door behind him. Tai laid down with his back to the other boy and pulled his bed covers up over his head. Matt waited for a moment to see if he would attempt to kick him out, but was surprised to see that he didn't do anything.

'_Must have really taken a lot of his energy,' _the blonde mused to himself and glanced around the small room. Things looked fairly the same. The bed was still pushed up against the far end of the room and the walls were painted a soft blue. Some soccer gear was tossed in one corner of the room next to the closet on the right, as usual. His closet door was open and showed his usual wardrobe consisting of some of his favorite shirts and pants. Tai's high school diploma sat proudly on his desk, located on the left side of the room, on top of a horrible mess of other pieces of papers and small items.

The blonde glanced back at the sleeping brunette before heading over to try and straighten out some of the papers on his desk. Usually, Matt was too busy practicing with his band to do much cleaning at his own place…but seeing how miserable Tai was, he thought it could have been he least he could do. Matt straightened out the piles of paper, making sure not to move them anywhere else, and readjusted the diploma. From the corner of his eye, he noticed a certain list lying crumpled next to a trash bin. Confused to why Tai's beloved list would be so close to the trash, he bent down and picked up the discarded paper.

The list had more scribbles and red check marks on each of the lines than the last time Matt had seen the list. He smiled as he read through some of the ones that had been completed. While some of the memories he shared with the brunette were sweet, others were slightly painful. There were some lines scattered around that still had yet to be checked off, and the spot for the hundredth item on the list was still blank.

"You're still here?" Matt looked up to see Tai watching the blonde, his head propped up on one of his arms.

"Why did you throw this away?" the blonde question.

"Because…I lost interest in it," Tai muttered. That was a lie, and Matt knew it.

"By the looks of it, you're almost done," Matt commented as he walked over and sat next to Tai on the bed.

"It doesn't matter anymore."

"What do you mean it doesn't matter anymore?"

"There are still twenty-five things left and August is coming soon."

"That should give you a stronger determination to finish this off then."

"Knowing that completing each one of those final goals will be counting down until I'm not here anymore?"

"That's not the normal Tai attitude."

"Tai's not here anymore."

"Tai, knock it off!" The brunette let out a soft sigh and laid down on his back. "What is with the negative attitude? You of all people shouldn't be like this." Tai stared up at the ceiling and said nothing. Matt observed him for a moment, then nudged him to move over. The brunette did so and allowed the blonde to lie next to him on the bed.

"I'm sorry Matt," the brunette muttered. Matt turned his head to look at Tai. His brown eyes stayed fixed on the ceiling. "I know I shouldn't be like this…"

"…I guess I can understand why you're acting like this," Matt shrugged. His blue eyes darted down to where Tai's hand laid in between them. He slowly slid his own hand down and took Tai's hand. Tai jerked his hand away and quickly sat up.

"Ow!" Tai hissed and clutched his head. Matt sat up as well and took a hold of Tai's shoulders.

"You ok?" the other boy asked, slightly afraid that he might have hurt him in some way.

"Just…sat up too fast," Tai grumbled. The blonde gently rubbed his friend's back for a moment before Tai shoved his hand away. "Don't."

"What? I was just trying to help."

"I don't like you touching me."

"We touch each other all the time. Remember how you were the one who took my hand when we went on the railroad tracks?" Tai let out a deep sigh, which slightly hurt the blonde's feelings. "I'm sorry that I made you remember sour memories."

"No! It's not that," Tai frowned. "Sorry, I just…" The brunette sighed again and he gently ran his hand through his hair. Matt watched as the boy sat and stared down at the bed cover. "Matt…I think the cancer is winning…"

"Don't say that," the blonde frowned. "Just keep imagining yourself healthy. That's what I'm doing and—"

"Matt," Tai said. It wasn't harsh, or angry. He simply said the boy's name. Matt stared into Tai's dark eyes and listened to what he was going to say. A soft smile appeared on Tai's lips. "I appreciate that you did what I asked and imagined me healthy." The smile then faded as soon as it came. "But…I think it's about time we start trying to face the truth…I'm not getting better.

"I kept telling myself that I would get over this. People always go through relapses of cancer and I thought that I could be one of them. But I see it in the doctor's faces. They're trying their best and so I kept hoping…" Tai looked down at one of his thin hands that had a few dark spots. "But once my body started showing signs that the cancer was winning…I knew that there's nothing more the doctors could do. At that point, I guess I started to give up." Tai lowered his hand down on the bed and clutched the sheets tightly. "I used to be so strong and brave…but then I got my ass kicked and I'm weak. I hate it when Kari looks at me because I feel like I let her down."

"You didn't let her down," Matt said. "It's not your fault this happened."

"I didn't want anyone to see me like this," Tai continued on. "Especially not you Matt…I didn't want you to see me so weak and helpless."

"And…so that's why you shut me out all the sudden," Matt murmured. Tai nodded once and tightened his grip on the sheets even more. Seeing how his knuckles were starting to turn white, the blonde placed his own hand on top of the other boy's hand. At his touch, Tai immediately released the bed sheet and then slowly took Matt's hand.

"It's just a matter of time now," the brunette sighed softly. The words stung Matt like ice cold needles. He didn't want to believe what the brunette was saying. He didn't want to believe that this once brave fighter was now surrendering to an enemy deep inside of him. Matt clenched his fists tightly and tried his best to absorb the truth in a calm manner as Tai lowered his gaze to the floor. "In just a few weeks, Matt, I'm going to be dea—"

"DON'T!" Matt slammed a hand over Tai's mouth to stop him. A bitter anger made his body slightly shake as he stared hard into the stunned brown eyes. "Don't you dare say that Tai Kamiya! Don't you _dare!_" Tai blinked a few times at the upset blonde then his eyes lowered slightly. Matt took a few breaths and then loosened his hand from Tai's mouth. The blonde slid his hand from the brunette's mouth to the side of his thin face. He gently trailed his thumb against the other boy's lips for a moment before he slowly leaned forward and kissed him. Tai kissed him back and then broke the kiss. The two lovers stared into the other's eyes.

"That was kind of unexpected," Tai chuckled slightly.

"Really?" Matt frowned.

"Yeah, I thought you didn't much care for me," Tai shrugged casually.

"I do care for you," the blonde's eyes narrowed slightly. "What would make you think otherwise?"

"Well, you never really said…much about it…" the brunette darted his eyes elsewhere.

"Oh…" Matt felt his face slightly flush. "Sorry." Tai shrugged once again. The blonde wondered what exactly more to say and then he lowered his gaze to their linked hands. "I guess…I just believe that actions speak louder than words." Tai glanced down at their hands and then smiled up at Matt.

"That makes sense," he said. "Unless you were singing a song or something, you weren't really into the whole 'express your feelings out loud.'" The thin boy reached over to the abandoned list and scanned through each item. "Looking back, I guess you really did show me that you…cared."

"You can say it Tai."

"Ok…loved me."

"Always have."

"…even before you found out I had cancer?" Tai questioned while giving Matt a skeptical look.

"Of course," Matt frowned.

"It wasn't because you were thinking, 'Oh look, Tai's sick. Might as well fall in love with him so we can have this weird little drama thing going on'?"

"Nice to know you think I'm some sort of jerk," Matt huffed and pulled his hand away from Tai. The blonde motion to get up from the bed and leave but stopped when the other boy wrapped his arms around him.

"No, sorry," Tai quickly said before Matt had a chance to stand. "I don't mean to call you a jerk…I just get the feeling that people are starting to see me as helpless so automatically they've started to become more interested in me." Tai rested his chin on Matt's shoulder. "Who'd have thought that I'd find the one for me just weeks before..."

Matt leaned his head against Tai's once he trailed off and let out a soft, sad, sigh. He wished there was something he could say to stop the internal take over that was happening to his loved one. Or that a cure for cancer was suddenly discovered right at that very second. If someone told Matt that he would have to climb to the highest mountain to get the right ingredients to make it, he would. He would do anything to save Tai.

Anything.

"Take care of Kari for me, ok?" Tai murmured in the blonde's ear. "And T.K. too…he's a good kid."

"I will," Matt nodded.

"And make sure you get into a good college and keep up with your studies. I wouldn't want you flunk out of life or anything."

"Yes sir."

"And—"

"Tai? Before you start writing your last will and testament to me, I think we should finish off these last few items on your list."

"Oh…right," Tai chuckled. "You think we'll be able to get twenty-five goals done in time?"

"Definitely," the blonde grinned. "We'll work throughout the night if we have to."

"If you say so Matt," the brunette shrugged and nuzzled his face against Matt's shoulder. "But Matt?"

"Yeah?"

"…When I'm gone…it's ok if you find someone else." Matt looked at Tai in slight disbelief. "I don't want you to be alone for the rest of your life just because of me. I won't be mad. I just want you to be happy."

"I'm happy right now," the blonde said defensively.

"How can you? We both know there's a chance I might not be around for long." Matt stared down at the floor. He had never imagined himself with anyone else before. He'd always imagine that one day, he'd have the courage to tell Tai how he felt and find that Tai felt the same way. They'd become a couple and live together happily until the end of eternity.

Matt loved Tai. Even though he couldn't say it, he knew that Tai knew it. And having someone else take Tai's place once he was gone wouldn't be fair. It wouldn't feel right. He couldn't do that…

"…_Where ever you go,_" Matt sang softly. Tai let Matt go and allowed the blonde to look right into his eyes. "_Whatever you do…_" Matt gently placed his hand on top of Tai's chest, where his heart was. "_I will be right here waiting for you._" Tai listened intently as Matt continued on with the song."_Whatever it takes…or how my heart breaks…_" This time, Tai placed his own hand over Matt's heart.

"_I will be right here waiting for you,_" Tai finished. He tried smiling at the blonde, but it was obvious to the blonde that the 80's ballad meant a lot more to him than intended. Tai leaned into Matt and tried to gain control of his emotions. Matt gently placed his arms around the thin boy's body and held him tightly, wishing he'd never have to let go.

"…I'm scared Matt…" Tai whimpered quietly.

"…me too Tai," Matt whispered. "But you don't have to deal with this by yourself. You have your family and you have me. I'm going to be right here with you…for better or for worse."

"For richer or for poorer," Tai chuckled slightly.

"In sickness and in health," Matt smiled.

"…Until we finish these last twenty-five items on my bucket list," Tai said.

"No," Matt shook his head. The brunette looked up and tilted his head to one side, showing his slight confusion. Matt leaned his face forward and kissed his lover passionately on the lips before muttering, "Until the end of eternity."

…Tai would have given up anything to stay in this moment with Matt forever…

…Anything…

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_Boy can Psycho write dialogue or what? X3_

_Anyways...if you'd like, drop me a note saying what you thought of it. In the mean time, I shall go and read AmiraStarr's and southampton's wonderful stories, and then work on the final chapter. ^_^; Thanks for reading!  
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	6. August

_**NOTE: **And this chapter will now tie in the inspired song "99 Red Balloons". X3 I know the song is supposed to be about a nuclear warfare...but while I listen to it, there was one verse of the song that stuck out to me the most and inspired the way in which I wrote this fic.  
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_Just a quick little FYI (in case it doesn't read in the chapter): this takes place in August, but a year later. Also, the setting of this chapter is in a canyon/mountain like area.  
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_I'd like to thank those of you who have faved and watched this story and so, in the same sense, I'd like to also give a huge thank you to all of you who have read this story from beginning to end! It's not easy reading angst, but I appreciate your willingness to read it. Thanks so much and I hope you all the best!  
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_**WARNING: **BoyXBoy, angst, and character death.  
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_**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own Tai or Matt or any other Digimon character in this story._

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_**6. AUGUST **_

_**"Saved message:"**_

"_Hey Matt! It's Tai. Just wanted to let you know that I got back from chemo just now. I'm pretty tired but if you still want to come over that'd be ok with me. So umm…oh yeah! I think I might have figured out what to put as the last few goals on the bucket list. It's kind of stupid, but I don't know…maybe you'll like it…Then again maybe I won't tell you. Ha ha! Kidding. Anyways, hope your concert went well and I'll see you in a bit ok? Bye…love you."_

_**"To repeat this message: press one. To delete: press seven. To return the message sender's call: press eight. To save: press three. For more infor—"**_

Matt's finger automatically hit the number three button on his phone. He had kept that message saved on his phone for nearly a year now and he wasn't about to let it go. It was the last message he ever received from Tai.

It had been nearly a year since Tai's battle with cancer had finally come to an end. Despite what the doctors had told him previously, the brunette lived past his expected months and died peacefully in mid-October. The message safely guarded on Matt's phone was recorded a week before he had passed away. Even though the blonde had seen his beloved one last time before and they had spent an immense amount of time together, he still couldn't bring himself to delete the last precious memory he had of Tai.

_'But maybe this will help out a little,' _Matt thought to himself as he looked up into the evening sky. _'It's almost been a year…and he did tell me he wanted me to be happy…but how can I when he's not here?' _Feeling the familiar sting coming from his eyes, Matt pulled out a slightly crumpled pack of cigarettes he kept in his pocket. Lighting one of the small cigarettes, he tried to justify his actions with the fact that it was the only way he could stop himself from losing control of his emotion. It was foolish and he didn't like the taste or feel of the stuff anyways. He knew Tai would have hated it too…but Tai wasn't here…

Matt turned his head towards the sound of a familiar truck rolling to a stop besides him. A beat up, red 1997 Nissan's ignition was cut off before two young teenagers hopped out of the truck. He smiled at his younger brother and the younger sister that had accompanied him.

"Hey Matt," Kari greeted happily. "Sorry we kept you waiting for so long."

"It's not a problem," the blonde shrugged and tapped the ashes off of the cigarette. "It's kind of hard to find this place anyways." Matt told the two younger teens to meet him at a place called "Chaucer's Cliff." The elder blonde walked over to a fence that blocked a deep plunging cliff and the area where visitors could park their cars. From there, he could see the city below him and still feel like they were in solitude. The mountain like area was an ideal spot for what Matt had in mind.

"The rental place was kind of suspicious to why we would need so many helium tanks," T.K. grunted as he started unloading the tanks. He gave his brother a suspicious look. "I'm kind of suspicious too you know."

"Don't sweat it," the older blonde grinned and offered to help his brother. "You'll figure it out soon enough." Before Matt was able to take one of the tanks from T.K., the younger boy moved it away and stared at Matt carefully. "What?"

"You wanna snuff that out before you heavy lift?" T.K. frowned. "I don't want you having another bad coughing fit."

"That was just once T.K.," Matt grumbled and took the tank from him anyways. "I haven't had anything like that happen since then." Kari watched as the two brothers finished unloading the helium from the back of the truck.

"How _has_ your smoking been Matt?" Kari asked. Matt looked over at the young brunette girl. She wasn't judging the blonde or condemning him. She was genuinely concerned. The blonde looked down at the lighted cigarette in his fingers.

"I've been cutting down," Matt shrugged. "Used to smoke a pack every day, but now I've gone down to just two sticks a day."

"Wow, that's incredible progress," Kari smiled.

"Yeah, guess you finally remembered that smoking kills people through cancer," T.K. mumbled. Matt shot a slight glare at his younger brother and then shrugged once again. Once they finally unloaded the last tank, they rolled them over next to the silver 2007 Suzuki Reno. "So Matt, care to fill us in to why exactly you needed us to rent this stuff?" Matt pulled out a bag of red balloons he had bought earlier at a toy shop.

"Did you bring the envelope Kari?" the elder blonde asked, ignoring his brother's question. Kari nodded and pulled out a small envelope which she handed to the blonde. After nearly a year of avoiding it, Matt was returned one of the items Tai had left him. Hesitantly, he tore open the seal and removed the contents that were inside. As expected, it was all there. What Matt _wasn't_ expecting was a small piece of paper that held one last note from Tai:

**May our memories never die.**

"Matt?" T.K. spoke up. The elder blonde looked at the two younger teens carefully, then looked back down at the small note.

"Almost a year and a half ago," Matt started. "Tai was diagnosed with leukemia and was given six months to live. Not wanting to waste the little time he had, he created a list of one-hundred items he wanted done before he was no longer around. So together, we went through the whole list and completed each one before time ran out." Matt flashed the envelope to the younger ones. "That is what's inside of this envelope."

"Why did he leave it to you?" T.K. asked.

"I thought it was some sort of sick joke he had planned for me," Matt drew the last puff of smoke from his cigarette before tossing it on the ground and stomping on it. "But I'm not so sure now." The elder blonde looked at the package of red balloons. "Somehow…I think this is going to help me understand."

Matt tore the package of red balloons open and laid out the deflated ones neatly on the trunk of his car. He then handed the list over to Kari and smiled.

"Start reading them out loud, but not so fast, ok?" Matt told the younger girl. Kari nodded and took the list from him. Matt picked up one deflated balloon and waited for her to start reading.

"One: Go back and experience the 80's," Kari read off slowly. The memory of the 80's party Matt had been dragged to replayed in his mind as he inflated the balloon, tied it, and then released it into the sky.

"That was the first thing we did together on the list," Matt told the other two. He picked up a new balloon and looked up at Kari. "Next?"

"Two: Win the high school soccer championship," Kari continued. She looked up from the list and smiled at Matt. "I remember the look on his face when they won. It was priceless." Matt nodded as he released the newly inflated balloon into the sky. "Three: Learn how to dance."

"I remember seeing you two at the gym one time," T.K grinned at his older brother. "You guys were in the dance studio and Tai was kicking your trash when it came to dance moves."

"He can move, I can sing," Matt glared playfully at his brother before releasing the new balloon.

"Four: Have my first kiss," Kari slightly giggled. Matt smiled at the bitter sweet moment the two shared in June. Though the outcome afterward had been a crazy roller coaster of emotion, Matt was glad that it happened. He was happy to be Tai's first kiss, and he was glad that Tai was the first boy he ever kissed.

"So you don't forget," Matt whispered to the red orb in his hands. He gently kissed the balloon and then allowed it to follow the previous ones before it.

As T.K. and Kari switched off reading precious memories that were contained on the list, Matt continued inflating and releasing the red balloons into the sky. By the time they reached the forties in the list, they started to notice a few by passers who had gathered around. While T.K. did most of the explaining to the new comers, to why there were red balloons floating up into the sky, Kari and Matt continued on their process. Each time Matt looked towards the crowd, he could have sworn that there were at least two new people gathered around.

"There are only five goals left off to read Matt," Kari informed the elder blonde after a long while. Matt looked up at the girl and then towards the group that had gathered. It was a small group, but they were all still fascinated with the red balloons that were floating up into the air. Children were sitting on top of their parent's shoulders and adults were murmuring excitedly to one another about how marvelous this idea was. Among the crowd, Matt saw the familiar faces of their friends, a few players from Tai's old soccer team, and Mr. and Mrs. Kamiya. Matt smiled shyly at the sudden audience that had grown from a simple idea he had before turning to the brunette girl.

"What are they Kari?" the blonde asked, ready with the next balloon.

"Ninety-Six: Learn to shoot a rifle," she read out in a bit of astonishment. "I didn't know you guys went and did that!"

"Scariest afternoon of my life," Matt chuckled, remembering the crazy instructor they had been settled with. The old grumpy man made both of them so nervous that they both accidentally shot at the man's Jeep. Tai led the retreat back to his old pick-up when the instructor came chasing after them with a stick. As the blonde released the balloon, he quietly mimicked the sound of a rifle being shot.

"Ninety-Seven: Sleep under the stars," T.K. read to his brother. He stayed quiet for a moment then looked up suspiciously at Matt. "There's two smiley faces next to this one Matt."

"…It was a fun night," Matt grinned at his younger brother, not bothering to give much detail as he sent the next balloon into the air. "Next?"

"Ninety-Eight:" Kari took control of the list once again. "Watch _The Godfather._"

"We both fell asleep through that the first time we tried watching it," Matt told the two younger ones, and slightly informed the crowd as well. "But after the second or third time we got through the whole thing."

'_That's when he started to get tired more often,'_ Matt added to himself as he let the next balloon out of his hands. _'He couldn't help falling asleep. He'd just lay his head on my shoulder and in a matter of seconds, he would be asleep.' _He smiled at the memory of having Tai resting against him.

"Ninety-Nine:" T.K. interrupted the older blonde's thoughts. "Learn to play one song on the guitar."

"That's what you two were doing the last few weeks he was here, wasn't it?" Kari asked the blonde. Matt nodded sadly before Tai's voice echoed in his head. That was the reason why the brunette had left the message in the first place, to see if Matt would come over and teach him how to play a song on the guitar.

"I taught him how to play 'Collide,'" Matt muttered as he tied up the balloon. "He wanted to learn how to play 'Heat of the Moment' but it was really complex and I had no idea how to play it myself." The strum of the familiar chords echoed in Matt's head as he watched the balloon fly up into the sky. Even though Matt could no longer listen to the original song, he still faintly remembered the way Tai played the guitar as he sang the words to it.

Matt paused for a moment and looked up at the sky. 99 red balloons could be seen soaring up into the air. While some were barely in view, others were still dancing along with the wind and slowly making their way into the atmosphere. With each red balloon that floated in the sky, a precious memory of Tai flew with it. In some way, Matt felt like he was sending some of his memories back to Tai.

"That was ninety-nine," Matt said. "So what's the last goal on the list?" He turned his attention from the sky back to his younger brother and Tai's younger sister. Kari and T.K. stared down at the list and said nothing for a long while. Kari finally looked up at Matt, and smiled slightly. The water starting to form in her eyes concerned Matt and he tilted his head slightly to one side.

"I think you should read this one," T.K. muttered, handing the list over to it's now rightful owner. Matt took the list and his eyes immediately went to the final goal.

100. Survive…so that I can be with Matt.

A lump formed at the top of the blonde's throat when he read the last goal Tai had. It was a goal that the brunette hadn't filled out until the day before he passed away. Matt looked up at T.K. and Kari, who both smiled sadly at him. He didn't smile back however. He simply folded the list back up and placed it back in the envelope. After placing the list back inside his car, he took the last red balloon and filled it up with helium. He carefully carried the last balloon towards the edge of the cliff and stared down at it.

Some would have thought that Matt shouldn't release the final balloon since Tai didn't survive the cancer and passed away. But he _did_ survive. Tai was no longer here physically, but the memories that the two boys shared were still alive in the blonde's memory. He'd never let them die. Not a single one.

Now Matt understood why Tai had left the list with him and written that last note to him.

"You did survive Tai," Matt whispered to the balloon. He placed it over his heart and then gently kissed it. "You survived…"

Slowly, he released the last balloon into the air. The polite applauds coming from the small crowd behind him sounded distant as thousands of memories of the bushy haired, 80's loving brunette rushed into Matt's head. The blonde knew that as soon as that last balloon would disappear into the sky, the absence of Tai would hit him harder than ever.

Matt's eyes started to sting from the tears that he had held in for so long. His fingers made their way into his pocket to retrieve his last cigarette and lighter. Before he placed it in his mouth however, a gentle hand touched his shoulder. Matt glanced over and saw that the hand belonged to his younger brother. T.K. smiled, trying to offer some comfort to his hurt older brother. To the other side of Matt, he felt someone give him a gentle hug.

"Thank you for making my brother happy," Kari murmured to the older blonde. "It means a lot to me and my parents…and even more to him." Kari smiled up the taller blonde. Matt stared at Kari for a moment then looked down at the cigarette he held in his hand.

"I should be the one thanking him," Matt mumbled. Letting out a deep sigh, he dropped the cigarette to the ground and crushed it underneath his shoe. Kari gave Matt another hug as T.K. gave his brother a caring rub on his shoulder. Matt kept his focus on the last red balloon. Only once it disappeared in the dark blue sky did he allow the tears he kept bottled up for a year to fall freely down his face.

**END**

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**_"99 dreams I have had  
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**_In everyone a red balloon.  
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**_It's all over and I'm standing pretty  
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**_In this dust that was a city.  
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**_If I could find a souvenir  
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**_Just to prove the world was here  
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**_And here is a red balloon  
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**_I think of you and let it go..."  
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_**-"99 Red Balloons", Nena**  
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_A/N: My heart goes out to all o__f those who know somebody with cancer or who have lost somebody to cancer..._**  
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_Well, on a slightly lighter note, I'm going to be posting a poll in which I will ask you, the readers, what sort of story you'd like to see next from me. I have an idea of what I am wanting to work on next but I'd like to see what you guys would be interested in reading too (And don't worry, the idea I have is no where near as angsty as this story (this story was almost too depressing for me to even handle X3 )). So pop by and let me know if you so desire...but before that, I'd like to know what you thought of this chapter. Yeah I know, Tai is dead and it's super sad, but I'd also be interested to see what your thoughts about this story over all has been. I know that it's made me think a lot while I wrote it...maybe it did the same for you?  
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_Well, anyways...thank you once again for reading this story! Until next time...Love often, play hard and seize the day!  
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_-PW  
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